Monday, March 28, 2005

Have a Blogging Moment

"So, have you done anything fun on the elevator lately?"

"Are you kidding me? It's an elevator, Jillian!"

"Well have you ever THOUGHT of anything fun to do on an elevator, Jenna?"

" not really - What are some things that you have in that creative little mind of yours?" Jenna says, rolling her eyes.

"Someone was telling me the other day that they were going to put a desk in the elevator, and ask people when they got on if they have an appointment."

"Ha ha ha! That's awesome!" She says, laughing outwardly.

"I've personally always wanted to do Twister in the elevator..."

"What?! Are you serious?!" Jenna says, laughing anyways.

"Yeah! And also, when the elevator is silent, you can look around and say 'Is that your cell phone?'"

"AWESOME! Oh my gosh that's hysterical - you should really do it!"

"Nooo...but I did want to get on one and try to pry the doors open when my floor comes up once, and then look all embarassed when they open by themselves," I say, looking at Jenna who is now cracking up.

"That is so creative!! You should seriously do that!" She says, laughing harder than ever.

I laugh too; an image pops into my mind of me straining to open the doors using my hands.

"Oh my gosh, those were good," Jenna says after a few minutes of laughing.

"So where do you come up with those sorts of things anyways?"

"Bloggers," I say, smiling inwardly at my own private joke.


"Never mind."

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Wish Me a Happy Birthday

Yeah, you heard me alright.

Wish me a Happy Birthday, please. :-)

If you don't then I will sue your ass - don't think I won't! ;-)

Also, the only way you will survive this day ALIVE is if you each give me 1,000 dollars in small, unmarked bills.

I'm not kidding.

Happy Birthday to Me! :-)

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Get Naked

Today I was just thinking about celebrating finals by getting naked or something, and then I started laughing.

Then I thought I would share this with my roommate, so I told her that I was going to celebrate the end of mid-terms by getting naked and sitting in front of my computer for an entire day.

So I would like to leave you with that image of me sitting in front of my computer butt-ass naked, typing up this blogging entry.

My roommate said "Well, if I were to be naked, I may as well wait until I go back to my town so that I can do it in the privacy of my own home."

It's so true, and I'll have to note that or just lock the door so that it takes longer for the roommie to get inside...

Ahhh the conversations one has at college; and they seem perfectly normal! :-)

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Ask a Question: Why are You so Rich?

Bill Gates
I have infected the world with Microsoft; what else?

George W. Bush
I am not rich. I am an average American, just like yourself there.

Tony Blair
I agree with you, Mr. President.

Donald Trump
Are you accusing my casinos of being rigged?!

Bill Clinton
Can you rephrase the question by defining the word 'rich' please?

Roy Disney
I can't draw, but that doesn't mean that I can't reap the benefits of a little mouse that has it's own TV show.

Michael Jackson
I love making children happy, and that's all that matters, right?

Steven Spielberg
Okay now you stand over there, and walk across the set and then say your line like this. Got it?
I'm sorry could you repeat the question...?

Oprah Winfrey
I love making people happy. Watch my show daily at 5PM eastern-standard time and I might tell you why...

Hey, that sounds like a good rap song. Now you gotta' watch out for my new hit single "I'm Rich, Bitch" in stores everywhere soon.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Take a Test

Sheesh, these tests are really getting to me! I don't know what's wrong, besides the point that they are impossible to take!

Anyways, the test below is pretty much like a mid-term I had to take a little while ago...see how many you can get right! ;-)


Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.

Art: Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.

Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System circa 1750. Prove your thesis.

Chemistry: You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison. (We feel this will give you an incentive to find the correct answer.)

Civil Engineering: This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will support your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.

Computer Science: Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, write a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.

Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

Electrical Engineering: You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and correct it before the reactor melts down.

Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to justify your decision.

Epistemology: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.

General Knowledge: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

History: Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

Mathematics: Derive the Euler-Cauchy equations using only a straightedge and compass. Discuss in detail the role these equations had on mathematical analysis in Europe during the 1800s.

Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until you work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

Metaphysics: Describe in detail the probably nature of life after death. Test your hypothesis.

Music: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Philosophy: Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

Physchology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisis, Rameses II, Hammuarabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Political Science: There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any.

Public Speaking: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

Religion: Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.

Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Extra Credit: Define the universe, and give three examples.

Provided By: Who is the Fins?

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Dear Noteworthy College Student,

We are all a little high-strung from midterms, and you are not helping matters any.

Talking on your phone as if you are standing across a football field is not helping me to get an 'A' on my Psychology Test.

Could you please knock it off?


See what I mean? This is how you are speaking!


Don't you dare be looking at me as if it is MY fault that your girlfriend is upset at you. Maybe if you turn the volume up on your phone it wouldn't sound like you need a hearing aid.

You know there are designated areas for people talking on their cell phones, and personally, I think you need a sound-proof booth for your conversation.

I hope you fail all of your finals, dolt.


Friday, March 04, 2005

Kill the Power

…to my dorm.


You heard me.

Either way, I was watching a movie yesterday, pondering whether I should check my E-Mail or not, and thennnn...


And everything goes black.

It's about 10PM at night, and I quickly jump up, staring wildly around. I can still see the picture of the TV before my eyes, although there is no light and clearly the TV isn't on.

"What the hell??" I hear someone yell from the hallway. I quickly scramble across my room, groping for the doorknob.
"What's going ARHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!" I yell, slamming face-first into someone that was passing by.
"GOD DAMMIT!" The girl cries out, and I immediately distinguish her voice to be my neighbor.
"Oh, sorry..." I mumble, massaging my FACE (For that is what got injured…) as my eyes water in pain. I hold my hands in front of me like a zombie, finding my way down the hallway.

"Just chill out for a sec,” A girl behind me says, grabbing ahold of my shoulders and holding me fast. "You'll be able to see as soon as your eyes adjust."

After a few minutes of me and a girl standing awkwardly in the hallway, a blinding flash comes on overhead, and the girl drops my shoulders and shields her eyes in pain; I do the same.
"What the mother f^&% is going on here?!" She yells as more people come flooding into the hallway.

The emergency lights came on.

I run towards my window, the light from the hallway barely penetrating my room, and look out into the night at our adjoining dorm, Hewett. People are flooding out of it, coming out in great bunches like cattle being herded away.

After a few phone calls I come to find that Hewett's power went out as well, and their fire alarm system went off too.

And now we won't have power until most likely tomorrow night. At least we have hot water now (We didn't when this all first happened), and at least we have SOME lighting (the emergency lights, which as you can read from above also did not kick in until some time later). Oh and by the way, Hewett was evacuated for the NIGHT because the main power supply that powers both Manchester (my dorm) AND Hewett (Adjoining dorm, der...) caught on FIRE.

They have it put out, but they are now replacing the parts that were damaged, and therefore we have NO power. :-P

So now I'm sitting in the library, contemplating what type of mayhem I can create without my computer turned on...

Any ideas?

I updated this blog and my other blog, at first I had everything from the other blog on here, but then I edited a BUNCH of stuff out to actually keep people reading this blog, and instead I made two entries. So, to read an extended version of this entry, click here.