Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Wear Ballerina Shoes

Wow; wear ballerina shoes. Doesn't THAT sound like fun?

You know what is even better? If you wear ballerina shoes in a public place, like a Dollar Store or something, 'eh? Doesn't it sound like...you know what? I bet you will be the next person to wear ballerina shoes in a public place tomorrow, won't ya'?

And so it begins...

I had work for the last day this summer before I go to college. It was a perfectly normal day, as usual. Nothing could make this perfect day go awry. Even the weather was agreeing with me.

How wrong I was.

Late in the afternoon - I worked from noon until 5PM - at about 4:00PM, a woman came in. Now, there was nothing special about this woman at all. She was wearing shorts, seeming to be in her late fifties, and a plain gray T-Shirt. Nothing out of ordinary here.

What first caught my eye was how white she was. Was this woman albino? Or did she just not go outside at anytime in her life?

Whatever the reason was, I looked down at her shoes, and she was wearing hard-toed honest-to-goodness ballerina shoes! At first I stood there staring as she adjusted the picture frame section to her liking.

Now, the woman was rather short - the top shelf of the picture frames coming slightly above her head. What was weird about her shoes is even though they have the hard toe, they toe wasn't dirty like a normal ballerina's-shoes-who-had-been-using-them-in-the-proper-way would be.

Could it be that this woman was a ballerina when she was younger? Maybe she has always dreamed of becoming a ballerina, but just never wanted to be famous? Possibly she was a horrible dancer, but had the hallucination that she was very popular?

Whatever the reason, those shoes were tied around her ankles so tightly I thought that it was cutting off the circulation of not only her feet, but her legs as well, causing the severe depletion of color in her skin.

I snap out of my daydreams, clearly imagining watching her skin turning purple before my very eyes, and I see this woman staring at me.

"Oh!" I say in surprise, and quickly look down into the display case, pretending to be concentrating on the fireworks in there. I steal a glance at the woman, and, finally coming to my senses, I go around the counter to ask politely if she needed any help.

"Oh no honey, I know what I want. I just need to see..." She motions lightly to the picture frames on the top shelf.

Then, in one, sweeping motion, she stands up taller, and I took down only to see - she is standing on her ballerina shoes!

I gawk at her as she tippy-toes her way over to the shelf, picks out a particularly large frame on the top shelf, and gracefully comes down from her 'high' perch.

She looks at me guiltily and says almost child-like, "I knew these would come in handy someday!"

Whether she was talking about the shoes or her ballet move, I couldn't quite figure it out; I was still in a fog of dream as I checked out this woman and her picture frame.

Hopefully the 'PliƩ' (The ballet move she did) will end up better in her next performance. :-)

* I understand that the past few entries have been "Wear (Insert Object Here)" entries. My apologies. *

Friday, August 06, 2004

Wear a Hat

Well, this one does seem sort of care-free and innocent, does it not?

I'm sure you are all thinking:
"My, this will be a not-so-funny post out of Yolanea today, considering how boring it is to wear and talk about a hat."

I'm here to make you cringe at this fact. You will no longer view wearing a hat as innocent and care-free. You will scream in horror or be peeing your pants in laughter after I tell you this story.

We went to Atlantic City, New Jersey for vacation this year. It was beautiful, and of course everyone knows that Atlantic City is famous for inspiring the ever-popular board game "Monopoly".

Either way, there is also a Game Pier in Atlantic City (Amidst all of the Casinos and Bars) called "Steel Pier".

For one thing, I'm not sure why they would name that place the "Steel" Pier, when indeed it is made entirely of a concrete/cement mixture. Not even CLOSE to steel.

Anyways, as my brother and I were frolicking around this pier, spending our money like billionaires, I came across a game where the prize was the number one. It was this large, purple and blue striped, fuzzy-on-the-outside hat, and I wanted one.

Here is a picture:

So I go up to the counter and pay the girl 2 dollars to play the game.

As it ended up, I won.

Now, there was no Tequila involved with the making of this blog entry, nor was I high when I won, and I hadn't had any alcohol what-so-ever when I chose this hat.

Of course, my brother was laughing his head off when I chose this hideous ensemble as my token of prize, and I told him off by saying that the rest of the time we were there, I would wear this hat. (Luckily we were only there for two more days, and one of them was already half over)

Eager as a schoolchild, I cram it onto my head, and it easily droops down to my eyes, as if the hat were made for a person with a 42-inch around head.

At first I was not happy, but then I realized that if I carefully tilted the hat at a 45-degree angle on my head and tucked all of my hair inside, the hat would stay on.

As it turned out, I got no less than 20 comments about my hat between those two days, while I proudly marched up and down the Boardwalk. Although most comments were nice, I still have a vivid memory of a woman pointing and laughing as she went by.

I spun around on my heel at that comment and yelled, "Yeah, I know you're jealous of this beauty!"

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

-- This Space Reserved --

Well I thought if snotty rich people who stayed with us in Caesars Palace (when I went on vacation) could have reserved seating, reserved booking, and reserved...places, then I figured I could get them back by reserving a place for myself!



They just don't understand the genius way my brain works.

Stuff 2 Do Today:
1. Kill Brother
2. Heal Brother
3. Play PlayStation2
4. Unpack from Vacation
5. Create 101 Things About Me (?)

* * *

I also wanted to touch on the amount of websites who has this thing that is "101 Things About Me" on their blog.

Kind of creepy, but for some reason I am seriously drawn to blogs that have these lists of things about them! Most are funny and surely people don't actually list 101 Things About -- Them.

Does it sound like a good idea?