Friday, November 26, 2004

Go Shopping

...during THE BUSIEST shopping day in AMERICA!


This was the first year that I decided to do the whole "After Thanksgiving Christmas Shopping" experience. I felt that it was the PERFECT time to start, and, after all, who WOULDN'T want to wake up at 5:30 in the MORNING, arrive at Best Buy at 6AM, and wait IN LINE for 2 and a half hours?

Yeah, I know.

Not to mention driving through traffic like you are landing a B-47 in the landing space of about 3 feet.

Not pleasant, and I must say I'm happy I made it back alive.

"Normal" Conversations:

Random Woman: "Don't put that wrench inside of the package!"
Man: "But dearest, where ELSE am I supposed to put it?"
Random Woman: "Do you want to walk around with that wrench shoved up your ass?"

- - -

Child: "Mommy, can I have this?"
Mother: "No, honey."
Child: "Please?"
Mother: "No, honey."
Child: (Turns to me) "My mom and dad were 'getting busy' last night..."
Me: (Laughs)
Mother: (Blushes furiously, grabs her child) "Honeyyyyyyyyyy..."
Child: (Muffled Voice, still audible) "Dad made mom a really nice dinner, and after that they both drank wine and..."
Mother: (Talks over child) "Of COURSE you can have that toy honey!"

- - -

Woman Holding Bag: "Why did you get that?!"
Husband: (Cowering in the store) "Erm...I thought it would...look...nice??"
Woman Holding Bag: (Puts on stern look) "Don't think I don't know what you are up to."
Husband: "O-o-of COURSE not, sweetie-pie."
(Now the woman withdrawals a long and lethal-looking 'Therapy Device')
Woman Holding Bag: "Don't make me use this."
Husband: (Eyes Dangerous Device) "WHAT?! You're joking…I mean, it was just a little..."
Woman Holding Bag: (Said with a straight face) "I'm not really fussy where I stick this you know."
Husband: "Ahhhh..."