Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Search for Funny Pictures

Well, besides surfing the web, you can also surf for funny pictures in your free time! I know that this seems like a stretch, but I really wanted to share this photo with you.

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Okay, so as I was surfing the web I came across this hilarious picture, and I thought it would be best if I posted it and shared the laughter within me rather than share it with the soda I had been drinking. (Which, mind you, is already across the room)

Bush's Finest

Ahhh...Our poor, beloved President. You will always be remembered for the president who cannot correctly pronounce "Nevada" on his first presidential visit.

May the presidents' speeches never be boring, Amen.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Watch TV

Wow, now HERE'S an uplifting one.

Watch TV everyone! Come on, I know you can do it!

Well, even if you can't, then you can still see it online! There are billions of shows out there for you to watch! Let's get going already!


Okay, enough with the advertising. Let's get down to what you can REALLY watch on TV.

See, TV (Or as known by it's longer term, Television), has been around for decades, and there have been millions of shows on in that small time frame.

If you put all of the shows that have ever aired on national television into a metal sledgehammer, you would have enough to whack my brother upside the head, sending him flying into a whole other universe!

I think we should break now so I can reminisce on this one...

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See, we can break Television into 3 Basic Categories:

Talk Shows
“Real Life”
Other Crap

The talk shows are what clog your what we like to call “day-time” television, and these include everything from the Oprah Show to Jerry Springer. Not your happy-go-lucky type of shows. I’m sure there are people out there who are having a blast at watching Springer right now, fist raised into the air, gleefully shouting “Jer-ry! Jer-ry!” at the television while sitting in their favorite chair in a trailer home, but we are not here to imagine such a horrific event.

The second type of television is what I like to call “Real Life, Get a Life” TV. This is your “Survivor” and your “Big Brother 17,564”. I mean, honestly, how many Big Brother’s can they MAKE? It can only go so far before people start making out on that show! And Survivor, oh please don’t get me started on that.
Newsflash (Do not read unless you want the spoilers for ALL future Survivor’s):
In the next Survivor show, whether it be on the Virgin Islands or in Guam, guess what? They are playing for 1 million dollars! There are no twists, no escaping. It’s always 1 million! Now, if they varied the show slightly, oh gosh what am I saying?!

Finally, the “Other Crap” just includes your soaps and other miscellaneous programs like cartoons, etc. Soaps. Hah. Personally, I would rather bash my head one hundred and forty-seven times against the wall than be forced to watch Soaps. NO! Please don’t! Not that!!! NOT SOAPS!!!

Cartoons are just your everyday entertainment. They range from making men wet themselves on down to preschoolers watching Barney. Oh and by the way, I cannot get within a half mile of a TV blaring the Barney song without searching swiftly for a large blunt object to chuck at it.

Finally, I guess I forgot a category; there are the “Stupid” shows. These range from “South Park” on down to “MXC”. Now if you have ever heard of South Park, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

One night, I’m innocently flipping through the channels when I come across something that flashes across the screen that very closely resembles a cussword. I, being innocently surprised, flip to this channel, only to see one of the members of South Park saying “Shit”, and in the bottom left-hand corner is the “Shit Count”. These television network people were actually counting how many times those foul little creatures on South Park said that wonderful word! Why?!

Well, hopefully this guide has helped you to correctly determine what you are going to watch on Television Tonight, and if not, I’m sorry:

You have just wasted 10 minutes of your life reading a blog, again.

Monday, June 28, 2004


Welcome to Boredom on a Stick, where the sometimes suspiciously humorous turns into gut-busting comedy!

Are you bored out of your mind, searching all over the Internet for that perfect "Blog", then you have come to the right place!

Here you will find a substantial list of things to do in your freetime, including but not limited to:

Twiddling Your Thumbs
Jumping Rope
And much, much more!

So go ahead and browse away, don't dawdle and be sure to put in a good word with my boss! ;-)