Be a Computer Geek

So today I got so bored at work I started surfing random forums, looking at people's signatures. Most of them were really funny, so for a post I decided to put a few of them on here. :-)

C:\DOS
C:\DOS\RUN
RUN\DOS\RUN

"If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows had an error - he'd be a billionai...oh -- nevermind."

How to Mess With People in a Computer Lab:

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.


2. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.


3. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.


4. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.


5. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.


6. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.


7. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.


8. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.


9. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.


10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

TOP 10 SIGNS THAT YOUR CO-WORKER IS A COMPUTER HACKER

1. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.


2. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.


3. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.


4. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.


5. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.


6. Mumbled, "Oh, pluh-eeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net".


7. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.


8. Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons.


9. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."


10. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, jerk."

This last list of stuff is really, truly funny so I suggest you read it, lest you find your next phone bill to be 20,000 dollars. ;-)