Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Go on Vacation

Unfortunately, my fellow bloggiteers, I shall be leaving for vacation soon, so I fear that this will be the last post before I depart (for two weeks - never fear I shall return!)

Okay, enough of that talk.

This story takes place at the local Krogers (a grocery store):

So this week we are leaving for vacation, right? For those who have known me for more than 5 seconds know that most of my 'real life' stuff can be found here at this blog. (It is the same link, do not fear!)

Anyways, I decided that I would buy Kroger-brand DIP(tm) so that we could have some for the trip and so that I could enjoy a healthy portion at work.

So I went into our local Krogers.

Rushing through the store before work (let's say I had like 30 seconds to get in and out before I would be 5 minutes late for work), I grab what I need and head to the nearest not-long-line queue.

"Miss, I'm open!" An elderly cashier grins at me as I stand watching the clock overhead slowly ticking my job security away. Eager as a schoolchild, I rush into her line.

Watching as a young man strides away, I just glimpse him as he turns around and gives this lady the finger.

Oh God, please tell me he meant it for another cashier I groan to myself, hitching a fake grin on my face and turning to the elderly cashier. I watch as she stares at the young man's ass.

"Such a nice young man..." She smiles, clearly not knowing which finger the 'nice young man' just offered.

Appalled that this woman was looking at a 20-somethings ass like it was her grandson, I yank her back to reality with a loud, fake cough.

"Of course,” She says distractedly, grabbing my 3-dollar Kroger DIP and beeping it across her scanner.

The total comes out to be $3.05 -- damn sales tax. I hand her 10 bucks. She quickly retrieves the change from her drawer, and I think this transaction will end in about 2 seconds when...

"Five plus one makes six,” She starts, handing me the money in the process. I look at her with glazed eyes as she starts to count the change into my hand, clutching the receipt in her other hand like a hostage. "25 cents, 50 cents, 60 cents, 70 cents and 95 cen...whoops!"

"Oh, damn,” The elderly cashier says, bending over to retrieve the change that has fallen into the crack of her turn-style bag tray. I quickly note that she gave me 70 cents already.

"Oh it's okay,” I say, trying to grab my bag.

"No, it'll just take a second,” The lady says, grabbing my arm with surprising speed, holding it fast with strength even I didn't have.

I glance anxiously at the clock. If I don't leave in the next 10 seconds, I will officially be unemployed.

"Please, it's just change; you can keep it,” I say desperately, trying to pry her fingers off.

"Just one...more...second..." She breathes, her determination annoying. Her voice is failing as she tries to hold onto my arm and also retrieve the quarter at the same time.

"I have to go, lady!" I say loudly, acting as if she is trying to rob me.

I finally pull free of her grasp, and I am surprised to find myself still clutching the bag, the DIP waving dangerously below.

"Just...just keep the change,” I say roughly, stumbling back a few steps in my surprise. As I stride to the door, I hear a voice behind me, filled with glee.

"Oooo, it's a quarter!"