Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Know Your Role as a Consumer

So, I thought that, since the cashiering and dealing with the public part of my life is almost officially over, I thought I would post a little something about the do's and don'ts to a cashier.

Tips for the Consumer (From a Former Cashier):

  1. As a consumer, you should remember that a cashier is not perfect. We make mistakes, and therefore you should always be forgiving and kindly to a cashier. Always smile and tell your friends that we are the best damn cashier you've ever had in your life. We know where you live.

  2. If you (the consumer) engages in conversation with the cashier and he or she does not respond within 5 seconds, just smile and walk away like you just received the best sex of your life.

  3. If you start a fight with a cashier, be prepared to be dragged outside by our security guards and beaten to death. Although harsh, I feel that this punishment is justified for some customers. :-)

  4. If you are snotty or rude to the cashier, please be prepared to have an unexplained charge fee of 175 dollars. Trust me, we are well-prepared to justify our actions.

  5. Do not act like you are an employee of this store and then ask for an employee discount. If you do, I will personally throw you into the crocodile pit in the back-room. What, didn't you know that we have a crocodile pit in the back?

  6. If you are a good citizen, you will be nice and courteous to me (the cashier). Smile and nod the whole time we are dealing with your transaction, and don't look impatient. After the transaction is completed, walk away like I just gave you best sex of your life.

  7. If you throw your credit card or school ID at me, be prepared to have a sur-charge of 50 dollars for an unknown reason. Again, we are always prepared to justify our actions.

  8. If your credit card is rejected, we try to be really nice when we tell you, but don't act surprised. Just give us another card smoothly and you'll be on your way. Do not make a scene. We know where you live. :-)

  9. Do not charge your bottle of soda and pack of gum to a credit card. I will call in the hound dogs which will drag you outside and chase you back to your home.

Hopefully these tips will make any future transactions that you have with a cashier flow more smoothly.

If not, never forget that we know where you live. ;-)