Dear Noteworthy College Student,

Hey, Moron! Yeah, I'm talking to you, the mentally handicapped person in front of me.

I just have one question for you:

Why are you wearing shorts?

Is must be like, negative 20 THOUSAND degrees out here, and you, my friend, are walking around as if the sun is beating on your face and tanning your skin.

Well, I have a little something to share with you:

IT'S WINTER NOW, YOU IDIOT!!!

So, get some clothes on and spare us another idiot-guy-in-class gone because of Pneumonia or Mono, okay? I'm already tired of the sheer masses of people coughing onto my beautiful self everyday, and I don't need YOU to join them because of your sheer stupidity!

Sincerely,

Me