Thursday, December 30, 2004

Create a Gift Card™

Because Wal-Mart is CLEARLY the only place to go to Create a Gift Card!™

So I just found out the other day that my friend whom I did not know had bought me a Christmas Gift, had indeed bought me a Christmas Gift.

I did the only thing I could think of this late in the year: I went to Wal-Mart to buy a gift card.

I stride right into this little place of heaven, grab my choice of gift card, and although their Create a Gift Card™ selection isn't that great, I still chose the best one: "Congratulations _________!!!" :-)

I go up to the cashier, and stick it on the conveyor belt.

I immediately realize that I have gone into the wrong cashier isle. Quickly I look for a way out, only to find that I am next in line; the woman behind me is throwing very nasty looks for I have not moved forward into the queue yet.

"Here you are,” I say happily, trying to see some light in this woman's face. All I see is hatred towards everyone. Such a kind and loving soul I had landed this day.
"How much you want?" The woman grunted.

And, being the smartass that I am replied,
"Oh, a couple hundred thousand would be okay,” I said, smiling, "Just make the check out to me please."
"You serious?" The woman grunted again, hatred etched onto every line of her face.

"Oh!" I say in mock realization, "You mean the gift card!"

The woman’s eyes seemed to deepen.

"Yes, just fifteen bucks will be okay,” I said finally.
"You mean on this card?" The cashier clearly plays back.
"Very funny, yes on that card,” I say, eyeing her with intensity.
"Are you sure?"
"Wait, how much was that again?" The cashier says, her devilish eyes boring into mine.
"Fifteen bucks!" I say, now getting slightly irritated.

"Okay...wait, are you sure you want this card?" She says, pure glee playing across her face now.
"Yes." I say sternly, trying to make my tone sound final. My grin turns into a slight grimace.
"Sure thing!" She says, swiping the gift card to put the right amount on it. "Oh, how much did you want on this card today, ma'am?"
"Fif. Teen. Bucks. Now." I say slowly, my teeth clenched. I am not joking anymore.
"Ah yes!" The woman says, finally tapping her keyboard.

I swear that as soon as I walked away from that cashier, I could hear her laughing.

I’m sure that cashier will be telling all of her coworkers about messing with her in the future.