Dear Noteworthy College Student,

Hello again, and what a gloomy day I must say!

I don't mean to be rude, but I can't help but notice you and your boyfriend in the hallway. Is that your boyfriend, I wonder? You just cannot keep your eyes off him, can you?

Although I find it cute that you are locking arms, smiling at one another and giving each other small kisses, it is also somewhat disturbing.

Then again, are your braces stuck to him? I can't tell if that look on your boyfriend's face is one of mingled satisfaction or suffocation, but I'm sure you'll find out soon enough.

Now I am going to look away because of the nasty smacking sounds coming from you and your boyfriend, and I would appreciate it if you two could find a more private place to make-out in, okay?

Also, if you could please put your leg down? I know your boyfriend may like touching it every 3 seconds, but it's going to make me throw up in about 2 seconds if you don't back away slightly.

Don't forget that you are standing in front of a classroom, and people are going to be filing out in about a minute, so could you wrap it up?

Thanks for the consideration of others!

Me